Ardhanarishwara
Hi again,
now..about ardhanarishwara...The concept was amazing.. so perfect..a dynamic equilibrium..but how did this fit into abhhaya ?...i din't get it at first , but just a few days before the penang show, i began to understand. One of the most obvious problems we face in life arises from the tension of opposites. Most of the time in life, actually almost from the simplest of activities right up to the big descisions that affect our lives,we have to make a choices. For some actions, our minds have already been conditioned a certain way and so there is no big struggle to make a descision...we automatically make up our minds. But for other things there is always and internal struggle between the opposite choices that we face. Right or wrong ? , This or That ? Blue or Green, Medicine or
Dance ? TFA or home ? I feel attracted to this person..should i tell the person or not ? Will that person like me in return or not ? What to do !!! It all ends up in one huge confusion. Where does the conflict come from ? It is the fear of ending up with a negative result which in turn causes more fear. Basically fear of fear.
When the mind itself is split into two parts, how can it merge with the soul ? So Lord Shiva says 'I am the union of these two opposites, meditate and surrender unto Me and I shall reconcile you.' So when we meditate and be in touch with that Ardhnarishwara,Everything becomes one..there are no opposites...if we alllow his grace to flow through..there will be no more negative results for He will bestow upon you the knowledge and conviction that everything is for your own good and that He is looking after you..there is no need to fear...just forget all your complexes and contemplate and commune with HIM..just like how swamiji says..'take off your garments and just stand in front of the sun and absorb all the energy and vitamin....'. So..in this way Lord Shiva Grants ABHAYA. I have learnt from this production that all we have to go on doing is just forget these complexes that we have..just go on communing with our GURUS and with SWAMIJI and with GOD in whatever form we perceive HIM because that is the understanding heart..when we just forget about about our ego and commune with others around us...there is no more conflict and all is JOY.
Sounds really ideal but i think that's the purpose for which I have been put into TFA and to learn from all the great masters that teach here..the glory goes to them..Thank you for making me grow..It is all your grace. Swamiji's grace.
Madman.
Labels: report/experiences
The grace of swamiji through Geetha akka
Hi ,
so continuing form where i left off,, there were all these questions and confusions and mind blocks and slowly one by one, they were all answered. One day during one of the practices...i could not get one step and Geetha akka kept telling me 'stop using ur mind...don't think too much...'and she told me a lot more things about one of her students being blind and learning oddissi and how she would feel Geetha akka and learn ,not see with the eyes which is simply one of our senses. After that practice, i suddenly realised how much I was being controlled by my mind... for me, it may sound weird to say this but one of the goals i have set for myself in life is to become master of the mind; and suddenly I realised how much i was being controlled by it in seemimgly positive or negative ways. Throughout this year i have been monitoring my mind and I realised finally that the mind is all just full of complexes,going on creating more and more maybe positive maybe negative complexes..and these act as a resistance from allowing the divine grace to flow through us which is what we ought to do in dance. How does Geetha akka just come up with beautiful movements..simply out of nowhere ?.... without any resistance ? I guess people like that just let go and allow the divine energy to flow through. There is no ego..no mind.. the mimd has merged with the soul and the body through years of practice has been traind and is the slave of the mind. The body, mind and soul have all become one...that is Yoga..that is union with GOD..and that is why dance is a prayer.
So now..if we dance as a form of prayer.. what does it matter what it looks like ? if i pray with the correct bhavana...won't GOD accept my prayer ? If dance is going to be such a complicated thing..so many technics and styles and footwork and remembring the lighting cues and formations...why should I waste my time ? Isn't it simpler to just go and do annalakshmi duty and pray to GOD ? Well, one day as i was doing annalaksmi duty...i realised i was wrong.Geetha Akka always kept telling me strength is grace...so i thought okay strength is grace and grace is beauty and love and so on and so forth... now this lead me to understand my purpose for dancing.
From what i have learned in baratha natyam theory, dance was not just and art but, to put it in broad terms.. a medium of propagating religion, bakthi, and love which is GOD. Dance is the practice of religion...religion in action... dancers and all other artists have to take the pains and effort(practice..to perfect the technique..to get stamina..to get that perfect movement that perfect breathing...the style and the list goes on..and all this requires lots of discipline.) to present the artform beautifully to tell the audience that God is not just some big man up there who is going to throw us in hell if we don't pray to him....to tell the audience that God is love..and beauty and GRACE and therefore we have to dance with GRACE and to do that we require God's GRACE. An artist is just like a sannyasi....who has to go through so much discipline and japa and rules like brahmacharya so many complex matters and some infinite hours of meditation..why? so that he/she is pure and sanctified..without any blemish at least 99% perfect so that they can spread the light and love of GOD just like any beautiful dancer..you can't go there and bore all your listeners right ?.. you can't bore the audience....and so i found that the same felling i get when i listen to swamiji's talks(it's so full of fun..and jokes and sweetenes of his voice...) and when i see someone like Geetha akka dancing; and the same concept applies when we do annalakshmi duty..serve with love..swamiji says 'athithi devo bhava'... Leesa mohanty says'rasika devo bhava' it's all one and the same. It is GRACE. So, whether we love the art form or nor, it is a means of connecting with God and to do it with beauty and grace is the sadhana.
I gtg now..all this is what i have learnt by the grace of swamiji through Getha akka... I'll write about Ardhanarishwara next.
Adios..madman.
Labels: report/experiences
Abhaya: connecting with lord shiva
Well, when it first started out, i wasn't going to take part and geetha akka said she would like me too...and the tought of it kept bugging me as geetha akka called me for class even if it was just for learning the Ardhanarishwara item. Then one night as i was reading one of swamiji's books,it was written that when we pray what we really ought to do is just forget about all our complexes and try to commune with the particular deity or saint. The next day as i was studying, I suddenly realised that it was not about me taking part whether or not geetha akka wanted me too. It was as more like through Geetha akka, i was being given an opportunity to connect with shiva and to grow as not only a dancer but also as a human being...Ardhanarishwara being the dynamic equilibrium that every human whether consciously or not will want to attain. I decided i was going to take part and give it all I had.
So then practices started out and everything went on....The thing was, all throughout the year, i had always been asking myself why do i dance ? .... and if i dance to connect with GOD, then what does it matter what it looks like ? Why does it have to be so complicated ? Why can't i just do annalakshmi duty and connect with GOD ? ...and when Abhaya was on....what did ardhanarishwara have to do with having no fear ? All these questions were answered through the journey of Abhaya.
I gtg now.. so i'll post those answers on as soon as i can. adios, madman.
Labels: report/experiences
