My experience in Drama
Swathi Sivadas
It was after the performance of All 4 Love, I think, and PET was open to those who were interested in joining. The first thought that occurred to me while looking at the registration form in my hands was "What about all those lines that I have to memorize??" then, "What if even if I did memorize those lines and then on stage forget them?? What will I do?? I don't think I'll be able to handle it!!" These were my thoughts after watching All 4 Love.
I joined PET anyway despite those thoughts. I'll just give it a try, I told myself. The first performance that was presented by us beginners was The Crow, The Mole and The Tortoise as well as a short piece from the Ramayana in June 2005 if I'm not mistaken. I had learnt a lot from those exercises we would do before starting rehersals. Although I had built a little confidence in myself, I still hadn't shaken the fear of stage fright despite being a dancer.
My first role in an actual drama was Jessica, the daughter of the Jewess Shyla in The Merchant, The Moneylender and The Mistress in February 2006. It was my first attempt in an actual play and well, it was Shakespeare. Shakespeare for me, okay most of us, was like alien language. Not until after this play did I start to get the hang of Shakespeare and even grew to like it. We all, I'm sure, had our share of fun in this adaptation of Shakespeare. Well, I did and it was a one of a kind experience for me working with other actors who were senior and knowing your cue to come on stage, not to mention your character. So,that slowly brought out more of my confidence. It's like there are so many ways to express yourself through drama, being someone else and bringing out the character in the way you feel best.
To me it's a freedom that I don't experience in anything else I do. Then came the Bullock Cart performance, it was not PET but we used skills we learnt anyway. It was a little tough dancing and acting at the same time. We had to remember our lines as well as our dance sequences. I had fun doing this production too.
Recently, of course, was Khaadalin Shakthi to the power of 3. Here,I got the role of Savitri in "Savitri and Satyavan". This was another experience for me as the piece was only for two actors. This time when we had the first meeting last year, I was not convinced that I could bring out the character at all. I felt and still feel like I haven't gotten the satisfaction of bringing the best out of any one character I have played, because I think I'm still new and inexperienced to do so.
I felt nervous doing this piece because of both of us had to hold the audience's attention for the certain period of time. Of course I knew Kamalesh could do it but not me. Also, acting with Kamalesh who is senior to me made things easier but it was like a senior and junior actor put on stage together. Well, senior because of the amount of stage exposure as an actor. I felt inexperienced to take on this role. Even on the day of the performance I don't think I (as Savitri) came through to the audience. Though I'm still not sure. Strange, but that's how I feel.
We performed this piece twice. The first time at the Buddhist Temple where I thought the audience was more receiving. Then a second time at TFA, though this time despite the 'advantages' we had here it felt like we didn't get through to the audience - in other words, it was just boring. So, in conclusion, my experiences have showed me several aspects of drama which I would have not gone through if I hadn't started drama in the first place. Neither would I have acquired a "Shakespearean taste".
Well, a little of it anyway and slowly I find it easier to memorize lines which I had otherwise thought was difficult. I hope in future, I'll get to take on different characters and situations. Not only that, now, I actually like reading about Shakespeare's life. Whatever it is, I'll never regret the day I joined Panchatantra Ensemble Theatre.
Labels: report/experiences
Digging Deep
Giridarshini Subramaniam on her journey to the Buddha
When I became part of PET, the last thing on my mind was to be doing a monologue. First and foremost, I’m an amateur when it comes to acting, considering the fact that I’ve only acted in 2 plays thus far (excerpts from William Buck’s Ramayana and Merchant). Therefore, you can imagine how I reacted when I was first told that I was to do a monologue. Although playing a few challenging roles in the previous plays had helped me boost my confidence and let go of my fear of being on stage, I still wasn’t sure if I was capable of holding the attention of a crowd of people for 40 whole minutes all by myself.
Frankly, it’s no easy task to be playing a mother suffering from the loss of her child when I know nothing about being a parent and what it feels like to lose a child.
The toughest thing for me was that I had to hit the right emotions without coming across as exaggerating or excessively dramatic. I think the dramatic value is there so that the character doesn’t seem plain and dull, instead it adds color and makes the character stand out. Nevertheless, it is of utmost importance not to over do it or otherwise the character would lose its originality and seem fake.
Another thing that kept bothering me was the fact that my performance had the tendency to become monotonous. Maybe this was because the script was such too with the repetitive pleading (but how else would a mother express her sorrow of having lost her only child). Along with that, the entire piece was performed at just one spot with a single light shining at my face throughout and seemed very stationary. Therefore, it was easy to lose the audience. So I had to work around the script and put in my own ideas (and Uncle Ket’s ideas too of course) so that the whole thing was not just plain and boring. Starting it right was the most essential thing for me. The moment I dash into stage with the mustard seeds, I HAD to hit the right note; otherwise I knew the whole thing was going to go wrong.
I performed the monologue at three different places. I presented it differently all three times and got three very different responses too. When I first did it in KL, I was pretty nervous and tensed before going on stage, but the moment I was up there, it didn’t seem so hard after all. That was because I had a very interesting crowd who responded well to my performance. I knew I was giving out the right energy when I could see my audience reacting to my pain and distress. It was then that I realized they were feeling the same way I was and it hit me right away that if I was just acting (and not feeling it), they could’ve easily seen through it.
Although my part as Kissa Gotami was well received in KL it only got better when I performed it in Johor Bahru. Personally, I think my best performance was there too. A few amendments were made here (For an example, I stood up and walked around my performance space as I rendered my lines at one point) and I have to say not only was I comfortable with the changes, I was getting better at playing the role of the suffering mother. It was here that I truly lived the character. Not that I did not do it in KL, but there were times I had to force certain emotions. Whereas in JB, everything went well. I felt Kissa Gotami throughout the act, the audiences were brilliant and the ambience was simply perfect. I have to say I really loved it there.
My final performance was in Singapore and unfortunately here, it didn’t turn out the way I expected it to. My biggest fear of becoming monotonous took place here. Alas, I have to admit that I didn’t feel much of Kissa Gotami and just put up an act most of the time.
The fall in my performance that day was really the result of not having enough time to get into character hours before the show. Like I said earlier, I had to start it right. Unfortunately for me, that day, I did not hit the right note when I made my entrance into the confined space, causing things to go wrong. I tried to bring the emotions but I ended up faking it. At one point, even I was getting bored with the way I was delivering my lines. Imagine the audience!
Still, there was a point where I felt anguish and grief building up in me. This was when the mother breaks down realizing she has been deluding herself all the while. At the end of the whole thing, I was upset with myself for the inconsistency in the portrayal of my emotions. There was no smooth flow like the previous times. Maybe if I had a couple of extra hours that day to think about my character, I could have executed it better. Whatever said and done, it was certainly an interesting experience having presented the same piece at different venues and receiving different feed backs from the spectators.
I remember there was an article concerning the show that came out in The Star before I performed in KL and it was titled Journeys into the Psyche. I cannot agree more with the title for it certainly made me explore a deeper layer within me. The script had got me thinking that we are all Kissa Gotami in some way or rather. When we are unable to detach ourselves from something so valuable, so precious to us, we give ourselves hope, deluding our minds in believing that some miracle might happen to bring that thing/person back to us, until once day reality hits and then we realize that there really is no point hanging on to hope but to face the truth and move on. Just like in the story, the mother hangs on to the very last bit of hope that her son would be resurrected.
It certainly wasn’t easy doing this piece of work. I had to dig deep to find the core of my character. It was not just imagination that I had to use to bring the character to life, but also events that took place in my life that has relation to the story (remembering the similar emotions and then using it while performing). Kissa Gotami is one role which will always be close to my heart and Journeys to the Buddha is one priceless experience which I will always treasure and cherish.
Shylock / Shyla Reveals...
by Giridarshini Subramaniam
Like most teenagers I too thought Shakespeare was boring and difficult to comprehend until I was a part of The Merchant, The Moneylender and The Mistress, an adaptation of his Merchant of Venice. This was the second project that I took part in since the Pancatantra Ensemble staged excerpts of William Buck’s Ramayana. Being so inexperienced in theater, I did not expect at all that I would be given such a heavy role. Initially, the role of Shyla (who happens to be the main character and the villain of the story too) was supposed to be played by a much veteran actor (Sukanya akka). However, due to circumstances she pulled out and I was given the chance to play the role of the eccentric Jewess moneylender.
Like I said earlier, I’m an amateur and to be given the role of a villain, I seriously had no clue how I was going to pull it off. Playing the bad guy (or woman in this case) was indeed fun and exciting for me. The role was heavy and challenging, yet it’s the challenge that made it all thrilling for me. The dialogues were not easy either. Since the play is written in old English, I had to make sure that I understood every word in the script so that when I delivered my lines to the audience, it didn’t seem like Greek to them. The court scene had the longest dialogues and deepest meanings. Therefore, I had to say my lines very clearly and carefully here. However, on one of the performance days, I believe I was delivering my lines faster than the usual pace. Luckily for me there was a second chance and I made sure I didn’t repeat the same mistake.
Another thing I had to pay attention to in this act was my facial expressions. This was mainly because I was ‘different’ from the other characters. For an instance, throughout the act I kept a frown on my forehead and made my eyeballs look as if the were going to pop out any moment. This helped me look evil and easily despised.
My hunched back posture certainly hurt a lot but it was worth the pain. Certain individuals may think that the Jewish moneylender was being too dramatic, but I think that the way I played her was the way I saw the woman to be. I thought the exaggeration in her speech and her body language made her stand out from the other characters. (There isn’t right and wrong in drama anyway, is there?)
I liked how humour was slit amidst the villainy of the Jewess. Then again, it was not easy to maintain the villainy and still be comical. It was certainly a challenge to do so. Somehow, playing Shyla made me realize that she had her reasons for acting the way she did towards the rich merchant. I remember the night that we were to find the core of our character; we had come up with an idea that Shyla might have had feelings for the Anthony. Therefore when she’s spurned by the man she loves, it turns into hatred and then revenge. It was pretty interesting to use that idea and then to apply it while acting.
The intensity in the court scene is one that I can never forget. Everyone in the court scene played their role well causing the build up in the climax. The most important thing I learnt being part of this play is how to work as a team. Ensemble work requires the effort of each and everyone that happens to be part of the play. Even the smallest role can seem big in a team work like this one (remembering the gaoler).
